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New patient and I’m late, how typical.
I rush into the little green building, hating everything about it, the peeling paint, the smiling people on the pictures, the overstuffed chairs, the…
It’s better if I don’t go
into it.
I stop at the front desk, my
secretary nods her frosted blonde head at my office, not even looking up. She
snaps her gum; “She’s in there already.”
I resist the urge to smash
her face into the potted fern that sits on the corner of her desk, right next
to the picture of her boyfriend.
The sooner she catches him
with that slut from Burger King the sooner she stops wasting our phone bill
talking to him.
I enter my office and give
her a fake smile. She sits on the edge of one of those God forsaken overstuffed
chairs and gives me a cold stare. Then she faces the floor again her hair a
stringy, dark curtain in front of her face.
“Okay I’ve just gotta ask
you a few routine questions and then we can talk about whatever you want, how
does that sound?”
Apparently it has no sound
what so ever because I don’t get an answer.
“What’s your name? Um…full
name please.”
At first I don’t get an
answer, just as I’m getting really annoyed she says, “156930^3 di98366.”
“What was that sweetie?”
“156930^3 di98366.”
“Come again…”
Now she’s getting annoyed, I
on the other hand am genuinely confused.
“156930^3 di98366.”
Deciding that I wasn’t going
to get a different answer, I moved on. “How old are you?” at least this one
required numbers…
“Seaweed casserole.” She
looked up for the first time, staring at me with calm, black eyes.
Nodding dumbly, I move on.
“Were do you live?”
“Cha Cha Cha… Charmin!” She actually added emphasis this time. Her
mood had improved to and she looked around with pleasant curiosity.
“How many people live in
your house?” I tried to remain calm, this girl obviously needed some serious
help, and I would need all the proof I could get too. She turned to face me and
smiled again. It was almost as if she
were trying to reassure me.
“Let there be notepads, lots
and lots of notepads…maybe blue ones.” She laughed pleasantly at this as her
eyebrows suddenly got up and danced across the chair.
I screamed and jumped up,
this was too much, this girl wasn’t just insane she was…she was…
“Pockets are a nice place
for goldfish you know,” she said in a worried voice, putting her hand on my
shoulder.
“Get away from me!” I raced
for the door, “You!” I shouted at the strange man in the corner, “ Lock her
up.” How he got there I don’t know I had never seen him before.
This girl was insane and I
needed some ID on her, I didn’t have to worry about her running off. That man
was a close friend after all, he would do whatever needed to be done.
I found my file drawer and
yanked it open. I found a file labeled new, written in leather, how
appropriate…
I ripped the cover in my
haste to find her name; it was awfully hard to do so with my hands turning to
wings and back at odd moments, what a bother.
Name:
156930^3 di98366
Age:
seaweed casserole
Residence: Cha Cha Cha Charmin!
Family: Let there be notepads, lots and
lots of notepads…maybe blue ones…
I dropped the file,
screaming as the room faded into Jell-O.
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